Safe space holding

From Michelle's heart - Post 3

I've previously shared my observation that we have lost a lot of our ability to hold safe space for each other over the last couple of years, specifically in group settings like our classroom and online checkins.

As a training team, we all agreed that these opportunities for connection and support are a critical component of By the Moon training. I've thought a lot about how we return to a time when people feel open to share their vulnerable selves and be real with each other again? Why does it matter? Our training provides Holistic Health Practitioners with the knowledge and skills they need to provide healing support to others. One of those vital skills is space holding. As practitioners we do not choose our clients. Most clients are strangers when we first meet them. Humans with their own unique beliefs, experiences, traumas, struggles and motivations. We build intimate relationships and trust with these clients through safe space holding. We hold space no matter who our clients are or what they believe and we hold a vision for their healing for their highest good. What hurts safe space? Fear of judgement. I have always been very grateful for the community that we have at By the Moon. We attract lovely humans to our courses who are sensitive, compassionate, nurturing and gentle. We share many of those qualities while still being completely unique humans on individual soul journeys. And yet, fear of judgement creeps in because we live in a society where we witness and experience attacks of character, silencing and aggression and while we have been mostly immune to that in our own community, we have learned to protect ourselves by not sharing ourselves or being vulnerable. We might also feel fear that if we express our true selves that we will offend someone or they'll think differently of us.

What happened to us? Connection and empathy are such crucial human qualities. Who are we if we don't have that? How do we return to being safe space holders and trusting our community here and elsewhere to return to compassion and safe space holding? 1. When you are listening, think of yourself as the practitioner. Remember that one's feelings and experiences have nothing to do with us. We don't take things personally when our clients say them and we can do that with each other as well.

2. Give yourself and others grace for imperfection. Remember that people often process their thoughts and feelings through expression. What they say or release today does not define who they are. Judgement and criticism for mistakes, misjudgements or expressing something inaccurately only shuts down conversations. Compassion and grace make space for growth and healing.

3. Express feelings and experiences for the sake of expression and healing, not to convince others of an ideology or belief.

4. Trust your community. We are well intended, benevolent, loving, supportive beings who are here for healing and support. Take a chance. Open your heart. See how it feels to be deeply connected again.

We grow, evolve and heal through compassion and unity. We do not make progress when we other, are separate or don't feel safe. Much of this had to be said not because we have had many issues in our space, but because many including myself have lost trust because of experiences we have or witness outside of our space. I look forward to a return to deep connections, healing and safe space.